no reason.

“Everything happens for a reason” is one of the most inequitable, ruthless phrases and it continues to be casually thrown around as one of those respected quotes used to justify any calamity one might be enduring. But can you really believe that you deserve what’s thrown at you? You think that every situation can and must teach you a lesson? You’re fine with the requirement to see the positive in all that occurs? K.

Don’t worry! These bad things are here to teach you! They’ll educate you! You’ll learn that This Will Help You Grow As A Person and This Will Show You Who Is Really There For You and This Will Bring You Closer To God and This Will Cause You To Never Take Life For Granted.

These lessons provide experience. I’ll give ‘em that. However, they’re also seemingly irrelevant to the situation at hand during the moment you’re going through it. And when the situation is significant enough, you’re going through it forever. Everything happens for a reason? I’ll always remember first hearing that phrase. I was 12; it was Avril Lavigne (lol) who said it in some interview. I didn’t agree with it as a whimsical 12-year-old; I could hardly concur with it now.  

It is so cruel to say that bad things happen for a reason. You can’t possibly believe that. Life is random.



Prayers go out to the Trebesch and Peterson families.

idk why ok?

The subconscious is the strongest, most underrated part of us. It makes us want and avoid things for reasons unapparent to even ourselves because of experiences we’ve had but cannot connect to the situation at hand. We underestimate its ability because it’s a mental process we're completely unaware of.

Do you ever hear the question “Why?” (maybe from others, maybe in your head) only to find yourself stuttering and blurting out irrelevant answers just because you don’t know how to explain yourself?

Like in middle school when a girl would ask her justin-beiber-looking boyfriend “why do you like me?” just for confirmation that she’s doing something right, but bieber doesn’t know how to answer cause 1.) that’d be soft and 2.) you can’t put that into words. Like in your soccer game when you have an opportunity to score off of a penalty kick and you’ve had that shot down with either foot since you completed 7^th grade but when the whistle blows you still get nervous not from the crowd but because you want the respect and happiness of your teammates and now it’s a question of acceptance rather than game score. Like when you’d rather say no to an opportunity than to say yes and be inadequate. Like when you feel the need to compete with others in order to succeed. Like when you just don’t know why you hate the Vikings so much, you just do.

The subconscious is this evil thing that takes all the little pieces of our background and saves them for later when it can maliciously affect our choices without us knowing the source of our feelings.

There are people out there that have seen things, maybe in war or maybe in an under-developed city or maybe in their own home, so that they are changed to the point of trauma. There are people who have been so physically or emotionally harmed that they won’t be able to start over, so hard as they try. Then there are everyday cases where we just have no clue why we feel what we feel, whether it’s something we think we need, or something we avoid with everything we’ve got.

To all those motivational posters out there encouraging us to believe that “Anything Is Possible!” …you can’t beat the subconscious. Those walls are impossible to break down.


Also hey just go listen to this song because ugh so talented

hope: a definition.

Hope: (noun) to cherish a desire with anticipation

1.) To cherish. To value. To hold closely.

But that which we grasp onto seems so prone to elude us.

2.) A desire. A want. A need.

I want a relationship like my parents’. I want a challenging career. I want my friends and family forever. I want to perform to my best athletic capabilities. I want adequacy.

3.) To anticipate. To look forward to. To expect.

But they say expectation is the root of all unhappiness.

Hope. To hold close to one’s heart a want, or even a need, with expectation of fulfillment.

Hope seems to escape us sometimes.

Reassurance in its purest form comes not from opinion but from fact. Try as they do to provide encouragement, even our closest friends and family cannot supply us with hard evidence that our journey is on track.

Off of what is hope based? Rarely are we indulged with some secret that restores self-confidence in our life’s direction.

Hope is based off of gut feelings, desires, expectations. Nothing that has proved itself worthy to rely on.

To give up one’s hope, however, is irrational.  What have we to lose in continuing the push for success toward that need, that desire?

Don't quit.

air traffic.

When I was younger, my dad would take my three siblings and me down to the outskirts of the Minneapolis airport. We would drive through the gravel right up to the tall barbed wire fence, get out of the car, and walk through the untrimmed grass to wrap our little fingers around the warm twisted metal of the fence, peering through it. We waited then, until we saw a tiny airplane in the distance of the sky, coming closer and closer. Then all of a sudden it’d be right in front of my eyes, heading toward the stretch of cemented path for landing, and I'd hear my dad yelling over the noise of the plane’s engine, “Put your nose down, buddy!” All four of us kids would start screaming, “Put your nose down, buddy!” as loud as our little lungs were capable, making sure that airplane knew to get its nose down and land! We’d repeat this for every incoming airplane until our voices were rough and naptime was long overdue. Hugging that wire fence, I truly felt that I had an impact in ensuring the safety of everyone inside, as well as the beautifully enormous airplane itself. I was responsible for getting it to touch down at the exact moment it was supposed to. It was up to me.

Sometimes we feel as though we are not “enough.” We’re not fast enough, we’re not intelligent enough, we’re not attractive enough, if only. I fear inadequacy. I need to matter; I need to be “enough.”

If everyone had the same talents or attributes, yours wouldn’t be unique. Because we’re all different, nobody is everything. Because nobody is everything, nobody is enough. Right? That’s the logical conclusion to the compiling of doubts we all have. But when you look at it that way, you know it’s wrong.

If you are not adequate in the eyes of one person, you are more than adequate in the eyes of another. So you haven’t made it to a D1 basketball team on a full scholarship? No matter where you play, your mom is always going to admire you for working hard as a collegiate athlete. So you studied for weeks and still didn’t get an A on your physics exam? Well I personally admire you for studying physics for that long. It’s not fun.

It frustrates me to talk to people who just don’t believe they are enough, because I ALWAYS see enough. It’s hard to get someone to climb over his or her own barriers. It’s up to you to believe you’re here for a reason.

I mean, if the responsibility of the Minneapolis air traffic control was completely in my hands, I think you can agree that you too, matter.