changes.

I’ve been realizing lately that your perception of yourself changes a lot, or at least it should, from high school to college.

Your high school relationships are formed (or already exist) mostly by outside factors: who you spend time with determines who you are friends with. It can be through the sports your parents decided to put you in, the class you were randomly placed into, etc.- being in the right place, on the right team, a resident of the right neighborhood, …at the right time. Outside forces. Along with the fact that cliques do not intermingle, this creates your friend group.

College provides a complete break from that logic. Sure, you still meet people through shared sports, classes, and dorm floors. However, it’s now about picking the people you want to surround yourself with. Nobody is above anyone else, nobody is sitting around asking, “Why is SHE talking to HIM...?” You have the right to make crazy friends. You have the right to make weird friends. And they don’t all have to be friends with, or even know, each other. You get to pick. And as simple as that is, it’s hardly the way high school worked.

It’s funny, because the roles kind of become reversed. At good ol Eastview, and any other high school, kids are put on a pedestal. You know the ones- those who were admired among others and knew it. They’re the ones who have a bit of a rough time in the real world. You are no longer idolized. You’re stripped of having the expectation that people will know and care about you.

I mean, even academics-wise, I can use myself as an example. My teachers in high school knew I was smart, and they respected me because of that. The fact that I had “National Honors Society Member” “Decent ACT Score Achiever” and “AP Calculus BC Student” as titles, these were all very relevant.

The minute you throw your graduation cap, though, none of that matters. To any professor or potential employer, I’m a college girl who must not be much different from the other 7,000 college girls here at UMD.

It’s the same socially- to any girl or guy I meet, I’m just another student here; they know nothing about my high school life, and I know nothing about theirs. It’s definitely a weird transition to make. But making this transition is the key to having a good time in college or not. Accept that you’re in a new place, and embrace all the new people you’ll encounter.

That whole term “stuck in high school” can be tough. There are so many ways to define it. I know a few (okay let's be honest, there's exactly three) people that I’d consider to be caught up in it. I used to wonder if I was one of those people, not able to leave the high school rut. I don’t really think I am though, or ever was. I do have quite a few younger friends, and I love, miss, and keep in touch with them all. The difference between having friends that are in high school and being “stuck” in high school, though, is simple: attempting to hold onto the status that high school gave you is the tell-all sign of being completely and utterly stuck.

It’s kind of like that Lucas Smith guy in Season One of Friday Night Lights. If you don’t watch FNL, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. Lucas returns to Dillon for Homecoming and everyone loves and respects him- he was the captain of the team way back when. However, after he graduated, he went off to Dallas, and did nothing with his life. I very clearly remember that Principal Taylor goes, “You know what it is, it’s this town.” She’s saying that once he leaves the place where he’s used to being worshiped, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He returns to it, because it’s the only thing he really knows.

Don’t be a Lucas. The real world can be a scary place, but you have to embrace it. One of the biggest things that I DON’T regret is talking to a variety of people in high school. In the end, groups mean nothing. You’re going to be on your own at some point, so start now. Pay no attention to anyone you think may be judging you. And for goodness sake, be humble. You sometimes don’t realize the pedestal put underneath you until it’s not there anymore.